Does Your House "Rise Up To Meet You"?

My house, "rising up to meet me" :)

I feel like I’m quoting Oprah a lot on the blog lately…but today it’s just briefly!  One of my favorite things that she ever said on her show was that she believes your house should “rise up to meet you”.  I love this. I always picture the house actually getting up and hugging you when you come home!  In other words, your house (or apartment, or trailer, etc.) should be a happy place for you, a haven, an escape from the worries of the world.  It’s a sad fact that many people do not feel this way about their home—in fact, for many people, coming home is the most stressful part of the day.  So today…let’s ask ourselves this question:  How can I make my home rise up to meet me?

First of all, it doesn’t matter how big or small your home is, or how much money you have spent on the things inside.  What matters is that your home is home to you and your family.  This doesn’t have anything to do with what kind of pillows are on your couch—or even if you have a couch at all.  This has to do with the feeling you get when you walk in the door, or when you lay your head down at night to go to sleep.  Let’s face it, it’s a lot easier for Oprah Winfrey to talk about her house “rising up to meet her”, considering her house looks like this:

No offense, Oprah!  If I could have Nate Berkus design my house, I would, too!  But in the end, I bet that many of us "normal people" are much happier in our homes than many of the celebrities in Hollywood.  Money can’t buy you happiness.  So, if money can’t buy it, what can?

Here’s a few of my thoughts…please add yours to the mix!

1.First Impressions:  Think about the entrance to your home, the place where you unlock the door and walk inside after a long, hard day.  What do you see when you enter?  I bet a lot of us are afraid to answer that question!  I think that if we all spent just a few minutes working on one little area—the area we first see when we open our door—then we would be amazed at how our attitude can change when we open that door the next day.  For example, at our old house, we always came in through the back door, and the very first thing you saw was the side of our refrigerator and a big garbage can.  Not exactly the definition of “home”.  When we moved to our new house, I knew that had to change.  If you knock on my door these days, the first thing you will see upon entering are two large pictures of my boys.  What better way to be greeted when I come home?  I can’t think of anything better.

2.Clutter or Crumbs:  This might seem like a weird concept, but bear with me.  I really believe that we can all be categorized into two main areas:  the clutters or the crumbs.  For example, I am a “crumb”.  At any point in the day that you come to my house, there are bound to be some crumbs, dust, etc. somewhere.  However, the majority of the time, you will not find clutter (stuff out on the floors, toys all over, piles of laundry, etc.) I can’t live with clutter—I go crazy.  If my kids get a bunch of toys out, I literally have to put them away before I go to bed—now, remember, the toys all get thrown into bins in my living room ( Bins, Bins, Bins!), so this doesn’t really take much time!  But seriously…I have actually gotten up out of bed to go pick up stuff that I knew was laying on the floor.  However, I guarantee that there were crumbs on the floor from dinner, and maybe the kitchen counter could use a good wipe down.  Okay…if you are disgusted by what you are reading, then I bet you are leaning more towards the side of the “clutters”.  This means that your house, on the average day, is pretty clean.  You get your cleaners out frequently, you vacuum your floors faithfully, and your counters are not covered in crumbs.  But I bet you can go to bed without cleaning up a few toys or clothes on the floor, right? My mom is a “clutter”.  Any day you walk in her house, the place is nearly spotless—smells like cleaner, the rubber gloves are sitting there, and the vacuum has been run.  However, you will also probably find a pile of laundry, or papers, or other random things. I’m telling you, I really think that all of us are one way or the other!  If you had to put yourself in one category, which one would it be? Once you answer that, you can work on making your house “rise up to you” by focusing on what lowers your stress level.  For me, the sweeping and vacuuming can wait until tomorrow…but those toys have to get picked up! J

3.”The one-minute rule”:  This is courtesy of The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. As one of her goals in her happiness project, Gretchen attempted to de-clutter and to organize her household.  One of the “rules” she decided to follow was this “one-minute rule”.   She describes it this way:  “I started to apply the ‘one-minute rule’; I didn’t postpone any task that could be done in less than one minute.  I put away my umbrella; I filed a document; I put the newspapers in the recycling bin; I closed the cabinet door.  These steps took just a few moments, but the cumulative impact was impressive.” (The Happiness Project, page 33) Gretchen had a great idea when she thought of this rule….just think how many times a day we put some little task off, just because we don’t want to do it, even though it really only takes us 30 seconds? After finishing this book, I have started to consciously think about the “one-minute rule” every time I start to throw my jacket on the chair instead of hang it up, or stack a bill on the counter instead of filing it.  Believe me…try this rule, and you will be amazed at how much more you accomplish in one day!

4.Make it a happy place:  As I said, your home should be a safe place for your family, a place where they feel loved, accepted, and where they can be themselves.  It should be a haven from the worries of the world, especially in today’s world, where there are so many worries!  Now, I realize that not every moment is happy in anyone’s home…if they say it is, they are lying!  But I’m talking about the overall atmosphere of your home…make it one of laughter, of acceptance, of unconditional love.  Let your children, and your spouse, know that they can come to you and tell you anything, that they can walk in those doors and feel loved.  Personally, I had a wonderful home growing up.  My mom tried her hardest to make every day happy for me, and to keep me away from the cares of the world for as long as possible.  And when my dad walked in the door from work each day, I was there running to greet him at the front steps!  Heck, I still do that when I’m at their house!  I hope and pray that my children will remember our home in this way…that they will grow up and tell their own children how much fun we had, how much we loved each other, and how safe and secure they felt in our home.  This is a luxury that many children unfortunately do not have these days.

I don’t believe that the color of a wall or a type of flooring can make a home.  It can certainly make us like our home more, and for that reason I think you should do your best, within your means, to decorate your home in a way that makes you happy, that makes you feel like you belong there.  But in the end, it’s not about paint or decorative pillows. It’s about the way your heart feels when you open the door and see your loving husband standing there, or you hear your laughing children running down the stairs to greet you.  That, to me, is the definition of my house “rising up to greet me”. I pray that yours does the same for you.

Trust Your Instincts.

Instinct, intuition, your inner voice….no matter what you want to call it, we all have it.  It’s that nagging feeling when something just isn’t right; it’s that still, small voice that people refer to when they have come out of a tragedy and lived to share their experience.  Once again, no matter what you call it, we all have it, and we all need to listen to it more often.

This post is not just for all of you readers—It’s also for me.  I really need to work on listening to that little voice, in all aspects of my life.  No matter how big, or how small, the decisions are that I’m making every day, I need to trust my voice within and follow it accordingly.  So often, we make the decision to go with our heart, or to go with what the world thinks is right or good, when all we really need to do is go with our gut.  That first instinct we get when the decision is placed in front of us…that is the way to go.  So, why do we choose to go against it?  I recently read this little story in Oprah magazine, and it made me think about this topic.  Oprah writes:

“A while back, Bob Greene and I were walking with my dogs around the pond at my home in California.  The weather was damp and misty, and I was concerned that it was too cold for the dogs to go in the water.  But Bob said, ‘Don’t worry—they’re dogs.  They’re not going to stay in the water if it’s too cold.  Animals don’t deliberately cause themselves discomfort the way people do.’  How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things?  We all get caught up in the business of doing, and sometimes lose our place in the flow.  But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are. I believe it’s how God speaks to us.”   (The Oprah Magazine, August 2011).

This idea, that humans are the only ones who deliberately cause themselves harm, really fascinated me.  And it is so true.  Think about your life, and the people in it. How often do you, or the people you love and care about, make the wrong decisions?  We are constantly making choices that make our lives, or the lives of others, so much harder.  But why?! Unfortunately that is not a question we can answer.  The only thing we can do is try to change the way we respond to our inner voice.

And so, the next time you start to think about a  decision in your life, try to remember that still, small voice.  Try to go to a quiet room and truly reflect on how you feel about the situation—without worrying what anyone else thinks.  If you get a job offer, don’t just accept it.  If a friend asks you to do something that you’d rather not do, don’t just say yes.  If your spouse says that he or she wants to move, don’t jump to make the decision for him or her.  Sit with yourself, think it through, and consciously make these decisions. Will this change be better for you?  How will it affect your life, and your family’s life?

This doesn’t just apply to ourselves, either.  This applies to everything in our lives—when a co-worker tells you some gossip about the boss and puts you in a sticky situation, or when someone you know is being hurt or abused, or even when you see a stranger in need, trust that voice within you, telling you the right thing to do.  Oprah goes on to say, “…I often tell friends:  When you don’t know what to do, do nothing.  Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice—your inner GPS guiding you to true North”.

I pray that we can all do better in this area in our lives.  After all, how can we “look for the good in life” if we aren’t even following our truth in life?

 

Have you ever had a situation where you chose not to listen to this still, small voice within you?  What was the outcome?  How about a time when you did choose to listen? 

Do Your Eyes Light Up?

As a life-long Oprah Winfrey fan, I have seen a large majority of her shows, and have learned a lot from the many interviews she has done with so many inspiring, wonderful people.  One of the most memorable, for me, was the great Maya Angelou.  When talking about her life as a mother, she told Oprah that she follows one basic rule when it comes to her children, and she recommends the same for us.  She asks us to consider the following question:  Do your eyes light up when they enter the room?

Well…do they? Do your eyes light up when you see your children?  When you walk in the door after a long day of work, what is the image your children see?  Or when they cry out in the night and you groggily walk to their room with your eyes half-closed, what are the words that they hear?   

I know that I, personally, could work on this.  I am always happy to see my children, and I love them with all of my heart, but I know that sometimes the stresses and day-to-day problems in our life take over, and I do not respond to them as I should, or hold them as much as I should, or get down on the floor and play with them as much as I should.  I hope that by admitting this on my blog, and with the help and support of all of you readers, I can make it a priority to make sure that my eyes light up every time that they walk in the room, every time that I drive up to the door after work, and every time that I walk into their room at night.

And for those of you who don’t have children…why not apply this rule to everyone in your life?  Do your eyes light up when your husband walks in from work?  Do your eyes light up when your mom pays you an unexpected visit?  I know that I could work on these things, too!  This is one of my goals with the blog…to remember the good that I have in this life.  And I hope it helps you do the same in your own life.  We never know what tomorrow brings, and therefore we must be careful how we treat the most precious people in our lives, whether they are our children, our spouses, our parents, our friends…or even a stranger on the street!  You might be the only light in someone’s day, so make it count!

Tell your kids you love them, tell them how happy you are to see them when they come running up to you, and when your day is hard and you’re having trouble being patient with the world, remember Maya Angelou’s simple, but meaningful, question…

My precious boys.

Do your eyes light up?