The Big Day.

Well, tomorrow is it. My first day back to work since giving birth to my precious baby girl, miss Nora Jean. Of course the emotions are running high...but I think I'm doing pretty good.  She is currently laying on my lap as I write this post, snuggling me and saying (with her eyes, of course!) "no, Mommy, don't go back to work!". Or at least that's what I'm telling myself...

As I put my boys to bed tonight, my mind wandered to my other "first day backs".  With Sam, I was finishing my Master's Degree when he arrived.  He was born in August, and he attended my graduation in December, all decked out in his hawkeye gear.  I got a teaching job for the following fall semester, so I ended up having an entire year at home with him; the school year started one week after his first birthday.  What a long day that was, my first day away from my first baby boy.  I missed him so much, I didn't know what to do without him.

With Cooper, I was teaching until about two weeks before he arrived, in May.  Therefore, I had the entire summer with him, and returned to work at the end of August, when he was three months old.  I remember feeling guilty that I had spent an entire year at home with Sam, and Cooper only got three months...

...and now it's Nora's turn. Her due date was the first day of school this year. Literally.  So, of course, I had to make other plans.  I ended up teaching online for the first four weeks of the semester, and tomorrow marks week five of the school year, so it is my first day on campus. Luckily, Nora decided to arrive three weeks early, so I actually got seven weeks at home with her, instead of the four that we were expecting.

Now that the day has arrived, I can not imagine how I would have gone back when she was only four weeks old. No way! It will be hard enough to leave her at seven weeks tomorrow! When I have left her (for a few hours at most), I have felt like a piece is missing. I know it's cliche, but it's true. And with our other babies we lived with my parents part of the time and had a lot more help with them, so this time I've felt even more attached...it's basically just been me, feeding her and putting her to sleep and taking care of her all the time.  She's attached to me, and that will make it even harder for me to leave tomorrow...

...but, as always, I'm going to look for the good in the situation, and I will end this post on a happy note.  Because, in the end, we have so much to be thankful for as young parents.  Not only do we now have three healthy, wonderful children, but we have a boat load of family right here in our own town, and our babies have never in their lives had to go to someone that we don't know and love very much; in fact, they have only stayed with non-family once!  Crazy!  We know how lucky we are in that respect, we really do.  Matt and I frequently talk about how we don't know what we would do if we lived far away from our parents and family members, because we usually don't go a day without seeing at least one of them and our kids are so lucky to see their grandparents so much. 

So now, as I head to bed tonight, I am choosing to be thankful for the life that my husband and I have...one in which I don't have to work full time, and that I can be home with my babies all summer long.  What a blessing!  And most of all, I am thankful for the fact that when I go to work each morning, my children are in the care of people who love them.  However, that doesn't mean that I won't be shedding a few tears as I drive away tomorrow...