Hugs and Kisses...Part 2.

As promised, we are continuing last Saturday’s discussion about the power of touch.  I mentioned that I would like to comment on how the American culture kind of bothers me…here’s what I meant by that:

Last year, I taught a course entitled “Latin American History and Culture”.  When I walked into class the first day, I was somewhat shocked to hear about half of my class speaking Spanish.  As a Spanish teacher, I am used to hearing Spanish of course, but this particular class is taught in English.  Turns out about half of the baseball team (all of them from Puerto Rico) had signed up for my class!  Long story short, I really grew to love having those guys in my classroom. They were rowdy, and sometimes a little too talkative, but it was nice for me to be able to speak Spanish with some native-speakers, and it was even nicer for them to have a teacher who actually understood what they were saying!  About halfway through the semester, they one-by-one started referring to me as “Misi”, which is an endearing term for “maestra” (teacher, in Spanish).  This made me so happy.  And then one day, when one of them was walking into class, he said “Hola, Misi” and started to come towards me, as if he were going to kiss me on the cheek! Now that is a definite no-no at my work!  However, in their culture, it’s perfectly normal for people who know each other, even teachers and students, to greet each other with a hug or a kiss on the cheek.  He just had gotten mixed up about where he was!

I have to admit, I felt so bad after that happened.  Not only because he had been embarrassed, but because I, too, felt as if I should be hugging them and kissing them on the cheek when they entered my classroom.  Now don’t get me wrong, I would never do that with my students, because it is not acceptable in our school systems in the United States, but after having lived in Spain during college, I really got used to the “dos besos” (two kisses) that is the customary greeting.  It is definitely something you have to get used to, no matter which side you are coming from—either going from no physical contact at all to everyone kissing your cheek, or going from kissing everyone on the cheek to a nice, firm handshake.

After the semester ended, I really didn’t think about this anymore.  Until…about six months ago we met some new friends at our church, who happen to also be from Puerto Rico.  We have become very good friends now, and this issue has yet again come up.  When these new friends come over, she hugs me and I hug her back.  But when our husbands are in the picture, it’s just an awkward mess!  Should her husband kiss me on the cheek, which he would do with all of his friends at home?  And should my husband, who is from this country, kiss her on the cheek?  You see what I mean!  Recently we had them over for dinner, and we also invited our good friends from high school.  After everyone left that night, I brought up the issue with my husband again, but this time with a new question:  why can’t I hug and kiss my friends who are from here too?  I mean, these are friends that we have known for ten years or more, why wouldn’t we want to hug them when they come into our home?  And yet these new friends, whom we have only known for a short time, get the hugs and kisses just because of where they are from?  None of it makes sense to me!

I still don’t know what to think or do about this situation, but judging from all of the things we learned last week in our article about the power of touch, I would guess that the best thing to do is to hug and kiss everyone!  Hugging makes us feel better, makes us feel more connected.  And who doesn’t want that with their friends?  It may be awkward for some of my American friends, but it may not---I am already a hugger, so they probably wouldn’t even notice anything out of the ordinary.  I just think that we, as a culture, should adopt a more intimate greeting process with our friends and family—it just makes sense, doesn’t it?

What are your thoughts?  Do you hug and kiss your family when you see them?  Your friends?  If you don’t, how would you feel if they started this practice with you?

Also, as promised, I am sharing the list of the top five “on-screen hugs” from that Good Housekeeping article. I’m sure you all have been holding your breath in anticipation! Here they are…

1.       Jenny and Forrest at the anti-war rally in Forrest Gump

2.       Jack and Rose just as the ship hits the iceberg in Titanic

3.       Holly Golightly and Jack Varjak at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany’s

       4.       Melanie and Ashley when he returns from war in Gone with the Wind

5.       George Bailey hugging his family after Clarence saves him in It’s A Wonderful Life

…there you have it! Did you think of any more to add to the list?  I love a good hug!  Go out and hug your loved ones today!

PS...If you are wondering what my favorite hug is...it didn't happen on the movie screen.  On my wedding day, my dad, who does not dance, took me by the hand and led me onto the dance floor for our father-daughter dance. We surprised most of the people there, because we had been taking dance lessons together.  We did our dance (certainly not perfectly!) and at the end, I ran over to him and hugged him.  No offense to my husband, who made my day perfect, but this was one of my favorite moments caught on camera that day!