As you all know, “chef Laura” and I have been best friends
since high school. During that time, we have obviously been through a lot of
ups and downs—with our families, with our group of friends, with our jobs,
school, etc. Of course when something
big happens, you want your best friend to be one of the first to know. Well, those “big moments” are kind of an
inside joke with Laura and I. Here’s why…
…when I got engaged, it was right around Thanksgiving and I
figured we could tell all of our friends and family in person, since they would
be coming home for the holidays. Laura was living in Milwaukee at the time, and
I wanted to tell her on the phone so badly, but since I love surprises so much I
decided to wait until she came home. Well,
it turned out that all of our other friends came home before her, and so did my
family, and in the end she was actually one of the last to know. I felt terrible, and I know it hurt her
feelings.
…and then began a series of what we call “steal my thunder”
moments. Just three short months after
we got married, I found out I was pregnant.
It was around Christmas time, and we only told a few family
members. Yet again, I decided to wait until
the “right moment” to tell Laura my big news.
We always do a little mini-Christmas, just the two of us, so I decided
that would be the time. She arrived at
my house, her arms full of presents, and a HUGE smile on her face. Next thing I know, she’s holding out her
hand---to show me her engagement ring! I
was so happy for her, and I knew that I couldn’t just go and steal her
thunder. “Oh, you’re engaged? Well I’m
pregnant!”. So, we opened our gifts, and
I kept my secret a little longer. However,
that meant that a lot more people were finding out before her…just like when I got
engaged. When she told me they were planning to get married within the year, I panicked—what
if she picked a date close to my due-date?
I just had to tell her! So, Matt
and I tell her we are coming over to hang out.
When we show up, she has a stack of bridal magazines and her laptop is
open with pictures of potential bridesmaid dresses…she’s all ready for a
best-friend wedding-planning evening!
There I go, stealing some more thunder!
I looked at some of her stuff, and then we started talking about our new
house. We had picked up some paint
samples for all the rooms, so I showed her all the colors…the last one I showed
her was a light yellow color, for the nursery.
There, the news was out---we were having a baby! Of course Laura was beyond excited for us,
and it turns out she was kind enough to get married in October, after my son
was born in August. So, I didn’t have to
be huge pregnant at the ceremony, and better yet I didn’t have to miss it
entirely due to giving birth!
…just after my son turned a year old, we found out I was
pregnant again. Same old story…some
friends were going to be in from out of town, so we decided we would tell the
whole group—friends and family—at the same time. It was October 3rd. Laura’s first wedding anniversary was the
next day (crazy, I know!), and it just so happens that she and her husband were
in Lake Tahoe for an anniversary trip…so another dilemma had arrived. Do I call and tell her on the phone (which I didn’t
want to do) and “steal her thunder” while she’s on her special trip? Or do I wait until she gets home to tell her
in person, which would make her find out last yet again? I couldn’t let that happen again, so as soon as we shared
our news, I got on the phone to tell her.
“Sorry to bother you on your trip, but…” All we could do was laugh. How many more of these moments would we
have??
…fast forward to this January. Laura’s brother is in Afghanistan, two of her
family members have passed away, and she’s just feeling kind of bummed. Matt and the boys and I are getting ready to
leave on vacation to Texas, and I ask her to come over to hang out for a while
the day before we leave. As a best
friend, I know my part---to commiserate with her, to find all the things going
wrong in my own life and sit with her eating junk food while we talk about our
troubles. See, I really do know what I’m
supposed to do! However, one of our plans for our trip was to tell the Texas family
that we are expecting our third baby!
So, as Laura drove up to my house that day, I could have cried. I knew that things just weren’t going her way
lately, and it’s so hard to see your friend like that…especially when you
yourself are so happy and excited about good news. To make matters worse, she walks up to my
door with a huge pack of Cherry Pepsi, my favorite drink. “For your trip!” she says and puts on a
smile. (You may be wondering why the
Cherry Pepsi matters…it’s just that I don’t drink caffeine when I’m pregnant,
so I had just quit drinking my
favorite drink only a few weeks before this, and it was killing me!)…Yet
another of the uncomfortable, thunder-stealing, ridiculous moments in our
friendship!!!
…but let’s save the best for last. This last story happened just two weeks ago,
and I still have goosebumps. It was the
day of my baby shower, and Laura was coming over to help get things ready. As I looked around the room that day, I realized
she was the only girl there who hadn’t had a baby yet. Not a big deal, people have babies at
different times. But as women, we are so
silly and tend to feel left out of the group if we are the only one who doesn’t
have something in common with everyone else.
I don’t know if Laura was even thinking about it, but I was, and I hoped
that she was still having a good time.
We had a really nice day, and at the end of it, Matt and I were sitting
in the living room with the boys, looking at all of our wonderful gifts and
talking about how excited we were for our little girl to arrive. Laura texted me to say that she had forgotten
something at my house, so I told her to come on over. Mind you, even though it was my baby shower
that day, I was on bed-rest, and
couldn’t do much more than sit in the chair and admire my gifts! So, Laura and Tim come in the back porch and
walk into our living room. She looks at
Tim, takes his phone from him, and brings it over to me. “Just wanted to show you this picture” she
says. I look at it, then look at it
again. I know exactly what it is, but I just can’t even believe it! An ultrasound picture! My best friend is
having a baby! And I can’t even get up off the couch to jump up and down! She
comes to hug me, and I immediately start crying. Happy tears, because every time I was
pregnant I wanted her to be pregnant, too.
But sad tears too, because I couldn’t get up and do a happy dance with
her! And then I realize the funny part…this
is my baby shower day! We all start
laughing and she says “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to steal your
thunder!” Oh Laura…you should have told me! You should
have stolen my thunder! It would have
made a great day even better!
…So what have we learned from this? For Laura and I, we have learned that we both
have bad timing for good news. We are
both destined to steal each other’s thunder.
But in the end, a little bit of stolen thunder is no big deal between
best friends. I am happy to share in
both good and bad times in Laura’s life, and I know she feels the same. Besides…it makes for a funny story
later! I love you so much Laura, and
there really isn’t anyone more
excited than me about your baby! (well, I suppose the grandparents would rank
above me, but this is my blog, not theirs, so ha!)
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